We’ve all been in or heard conversations like this:
Sally: I was pulling out my summer dresses last night and I can’t believe none of them fit! My love handle is out of control. I’m really ugly!
simple: I got you. I did that last week and my arms looked terrible in my tank!
Joe: I look worse than any of you! I need to sculpt my arms, get some abs, and get more fullness in my thighs.
This is an example of “fat talk”. Any type of talk can cause a person to have negative thoughts or feelings about their body shape. It can lead to low self-esteem, eating disorders, and distorted views of female or male bodies.
Fat talk has been described as contagious, dangerous and downright demeaning. One study even found that in a survey of college students, 93 percent admitted to engaging in fat talk.
The researchers learned that this type of conversation is often not about how people feel about their bodies, but about how people expect them to feel about their bodies. Engaging in negative self-talk reflects the labels society puts on how we look or what we expect to be like.
Why do people do this? Research shows that women and men have these types of conversations to see what others will say about them, to make themselves feel better, or to make others feel worse.
It’s a tricky mind game that can lead a person down a dark path that lasts a lifetime! So how do we break this cycle?
- Don’t get involved. Say no to negative self-talk and make non-engagement the rule. If someone starts saying they hate the way they look, ask them what they think is the most beautiful part of their body. Celebrate these things instead of focusing on the negative ones.
- Face the news in the media. Ask yourself if the information you see is true. Show that you are committed to promoting a positive body image by criticizing these messages. Use critical thinking to examine what you see and be realistic about how the image was formed.
- Practice self-awareness. Learning to recognize the first signs of negative self-talk can allow you to steer the conversation in a positive direction, closing the loop before it even begins.
- Celebrate all the positives about yourself – and help others to do the same! This is very important. When you focus on your strengths, you repel self-defeating thoughts. Make sure your friends know how much you appreciate them and why.
We can all do something about negative self-talk, starting with you! Be an example to others: When you hear a conversation start, stand up. Minor changes can stop negative body image and deformed movement.
